I need to be a braggart. Swashbuckler. Trumpeter. Braggadocio. Bigmouth.

Disclaimer:  If you are going to read this and be an Asshole and claim that I'm badmouthing my friends, then back away.   I need to brag a bit.  Or a lot.  Maybe more than a lot.  I have had a ton on my mind lately and I find such solace in my work.  I need to be honest, it's a known fact that I have the best job on the planet.  Well, except for the girl responsible for sitting out by the pool at the Sandals resort looking like a perfect tourist.  Or the person responsible for blotting David Beckham's sweaty face while he shoots his underwear commercials.  Point just made.

Here's a backstory.  I had just accepted a position as Director of a corporate wellness facility.  There were three guys that came every single day and I always spoke with them.  They asked questions constantly but never listened to a word I said.  One day, a remark was made about me working out and what I did.  They began talking about how they could easily keep up with me in anything.  I laughed, smiled and bet them to last one month with me.  They laughed.  I smiled and said, "I'll see you tomorrow."  All three showed up.  I didn't say much, other than to spill a few rules.  1.  Show up and do whatever I say.  2.  Keep up.

That was the birth of my most successful program.  5 years later and it has continued to grow and change constantly.  I have graduated 100's of people.  (The original three guys still come to the facility but have never completed a full program!)  With the add of my current partner, Greg, we continued to evolve and change the program.  I am wildly proud of my staff and the members that have stood by us for years!  They do whatever we throw at them and usually smile while complaining and shooting me birds.  Best. Job. Ever.

Let me tell you about some of the awesomeness that I get to deal with -

Teresa - Good Lord Almighty.  This woman is phenomenal.  Not even joking here.  She is gorgeous, funny and full of energy.  She has completed over 10 programs at least.  Several at the same damn time!  If I ever need honest feedback, I go straight to her.  Plus, she wants to constantly learn.  About nutrition, running, strength training, stretching, beer/wine consumption, work out clothes, dancing, my health, whatever she can think of. I consider her a great friend that would assist me in kicking someone's ass if I needed it.  It would be like, me laying on the ground crying because someone actually hit me and looking up and she's stomping on them.  It's that serious.  And she will shoot some birds. I take it as a huge compliment.  She makes me the proudest trainer mom ever when she walks by in the cafeteria at work and people are checking her out.  Yep, she's mine.  Keep looking people!

Susan #1- Here's my definition of ALL my Susan's:  Quiet, but will rip you up in the gym. Will rise to any occasion.  Will smile when they pass you.  I adore Susan #1.  She is what we refer to as "our gauge."  If she is not sweating, everyone else is about to die.  If she is sweating, everyone is already gone and the trainer is making motions for her to hit the infamous red panic button.  Two minutes and help will arrive.  Two minutes guys, you can make it!  #helpisontheway  No joke, this conversation happens frequently in our office.

          Greg: I am bringing in one of the backup trainers tonight.

          Me: 'Mean Glare'  Is Susan #1 going to be there?

          Greg: Excellent point.  I'll teach it.

          Me: Good call on saving the backup trainers from an impending and embarrassing  death.

Repeat after me.  Do not meet Susan #1 or #2 to work out at their favorite "other" place.  I should have known something was up when I was handed a towel and a huge water bottle. They will bribe you with cute things, it's a bribe.

Susan #2 - I adore this Susan as well.  She had some reservations at first because she was going with Susan #1 to the death trap place and I believe I gave her a few sessions free or something.  And she has been around ever since!  She has always loved the hardest things possible.  I think I have only seen her stop once.  She is phenomenal as well.  And she is the motivator to her entire team.  She corrals 5 people in our legal department and pushes them to come to the gym every single day.  Plus, she is sweet and adorable.  And amazing.

Repeat after me.  Do not meet Susan #1 or #2 to work out at their favorite "other" place.  I should have known something was up when I was handed a towel and a huge water bottle. They will bribe you with cute things, it's a bribe.

John - My favorite guy ever.  He's from up North.  I say that with an accent.  John will make comments constantly about how old he is and how he can't keep up with us.  Really? He's our age.  He plays a million sports outside of work and is hilarious when you get him going.  Like, Thursday when he "was feeling fat" and proceeded to poke his stomach out like he was pregnant during class.  I love having John around.  He will also whine and complain, all while passing us with a grin on his face.  He has no idea how much he encourages the others and how much we love him.  He has completed at least 10 programs and is still making gains.

Margaret - The most wonderful woman ever.  This tiny, stunning little fireball.  She started coming years ago and quickly ran to the top of all our classes.  She takes multiple classes and formats every week and has perfect form in all of them.  And she looks adorable and her clothes always match!  I'm over here wearing Greg's socks (both right foot by the way). She has always been a strong person in all aspects of her life and I am so happy to have her in my classes.

So, as you can see, I have the best job ever.  I am so fortunate to be able to mold these fantastic people and so many more.  I'm actually thinking that it's the opposite - they have molded me.  They have made me into a better trainer, instructor and person.

Much love,